i’ve started playing again. the piano, that is.

as a child, i was always drawn to the piano. i started lessons in the 5th grade and my parents bought a used upright that found a home in our living room. the notes and the music made sense to me and i learned quickly. beginner, intermediate, advanced, i went through all of the books with ease and with remarkably little practice. and then, it happened. i stopped playing. i didn’t feel ‘it’ any more. my relationship with the piano came to an abrupt and bitter end. i stopped taking lessons and the piano in the living room fell silent.

i’m not exactly sure what happened, i think it was probably high school.   friends and boys and popular music took the place of my piano and we grew estranged.

years passed.   high school and college came and went and then i started to miss the piano. only i felt that i had betrayed it so many years ago. i felt that i wouldn’t be able to play the way i did when i was a child. i was afraid my fingers had forgotten. i was afraid the piano wouldn’t accept me again.  i was afraid to try.

so i let more years pass. and then in december, i couldn’t fight it any more. i broke down and bought a keyboard. i uncovered all of my old music books and i started playing. i’ll admit, my fingers were rusty and slow at first, but everything came flooding back in a matter of weeks. it was an amazing feeling to make music. i never want to lose it again.

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Posted by goodbye thirty-two « there’s beauty in the breakdown on 25 June 2008 @ 6am

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