i touch the future. i teach.

twenty-four years ago today, i was sitting in mr. quincy’s fifth grade class.  on a media cart at the front of the classroom was a television broadcasting the launch of the space shuttle challenger, carrying it’s crew of seven.  amongst them was christa mcauliffe, who was to be the first teacher in space.

in an instant, the image of the shuttle was replaced with plumes of smoke and falling debris.  the classroom went silent.

in those first moments, i don’t think anyone understood what was happening.  i kept waiting for the parachutes.  they never came.

i remember walking home from the bus stop later that day and looking up at the sky.  as a child who wanted to be an astronaut and a teacher, that day changed my life.  i followed the aftermath with intense interest — the recovery, the tributes, the funerals, the investigation.  i needed to know how, and perhaps more importantly to a child of ten, WHY this happened.

i don’t know that the answers really ever came.  lost somewhere in the talk of sub-freezing temperatures, and o-rings and miscommunications were the dreams of a child.  i was touched by tragedy that day, and for perhaps the first time in my life, i was truly afraid.  and so i wept for the loss of those seven astronauts, and for the lesson plans that would never be carried out in space, and for the youth of our nation, who, like me, would have to grow up with a little less magic in their world.

today, as i have every january 28th, i pause to remember.

oh! i have slipped the surly bonds of earth
and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
you have not dreamed of—wheeled and soared and swung
high in the sunlit silence. hov’ring there,
i’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
my eager craft through footless halls of air….

up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
i’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
where never lark nor even eagle flew—
and, while with silent lifting mind i’ve trod
the high untrespassed sanctity of space,
put out my hand, and touched the face of god.

(j.g. magee, jr)


6 Comments

[...] There's Beauty In The Breakdown – I Touch The Future. I Teach.Twenty-four years ago today, i was sitting in mr. quincy’s fifth grade class. on a media cart at the front of the classroom was a television broadcasting the launch of the space sh… [...]

Posted by Space Shuttle Challenger - Nardu on 28 January 2010 @ 10am

[...] There's Beauty In The Breakdown – I Touch The Future. I Teach.Twenty-four years ago today, i was sitting in mr. quincy’s fifth grade class. on a media c… [...]

Posted by Space Shuttle Challenger | AXI on 28 January 2010 @ 10am

[...] There's Beauty In The Breakdown – I Touch The Future. I Teach.Twenty-four years ago today, i was sitting in mr. quincy’s fifth grade class. on a media cart at the front of the classroom was a television broadcasting the launch of the space sh… [...]

Posted by Space Shuttle Challenger on 28 January 2010 @ 10am

I may have told this story in one of your prior posts in years past on the subject, but I’ll tell it again. In my fifth grade class on that morning we weren’t watching it live, which I was kind of surprised by after months of hype from NASA and the school. I had a big interest in it too. That morning while we were doing some sort of task, our guidance counselor came by the room and pulled our teacher out for a minute. When they stepped out in the hall, I noticed the guidance counselor started to cry while she was talking to my teacher. I think I was the only one that noticed it. I didn’t think much of it, although I did find it unusual. I thought some sort of family emergency must have come up. The teacher then came back in the room and acted with a business as usual demeanor. About fifteen minutes later, all of the fifth grade classes were notified that an accident with the Challenger space shuttle had occurred and that we were going to watch the news. They then brought in a media cart and we watched replays of exactly what you described. It was only then that I understood the scope of what had happened.

By the way – it’s nice to see words from you. I got addicted to visiting your blog on almost a daily basis in December with your nablopomo posts. Until now for this January I visited it and left with the shakes.

Posted by Colin on 28 January 2010 @ 11am

I remember hearing about it when I was young and finding it so very sad. Sweet of you to remember. I’m sure now I’ll remember this date too.

Posted by Ari on 29 January 2010 @ 7pm

I think I may have been in Colin’s class – or at least in one of the next door classes and I remember it very much the same as he does. I remember seeing my teacher cry. I remember that one of our teachers from the school had applied for the position. And then I remember watching it over and over on TV – on those same media carts that Colin spoke about – throughout an indoor recess that day. It was certainly one of the most upsetting and significant experiences of my early childhood.

What was interesting was that many years later I was substitute teaching, just after college. I was subbing for an earth science class for 2 days in a row and they were watching a video about NASA. Just as the bell was about to ring the video signified that tomorrow we’d be watching the footage about the challenger. So I stood up and started to tell the students how it had affected my early childhood. I looked up to meet with blank stares. It was then that it hit me… “how many of you know what the space shuttle Challenger is?” Only 3 hands went up. It was truly the first time I realized I was in a different generation. This hugely significant event in my life was unknown to these high school students I was teaching. It was sad to me in more ways than one. It was certainly something that stands out in my mind as a powerful memory – one of the first times I think I realized that things don’t always work out the way they are supposed to – and like you said – a feeling of fear.

Thanks for posting this memory. I really enjoyed reading it.

Posted by Catina on 30 January 2010 @ 9am

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