One in Eight

One in eight couples struggle with infertility. I had no idea.  I’m sorry to say that my husband and I are one of those couples. We didn’t want to be. We thought, like most couples do, that when we were ready to have a child, things would happen as they should. But they didn’t. And now we find ourselves saying *yes* to IVF and to outlandish medical expenses and to hormone injections and to all sorts of things we never dreamed we would have to consider. All to have a chance, albeit less than 50%, at having a child of our own.

Our diagnosis?  Advanced maternal age, endometriosis, surgically removed left fallopian tube — natural conception is, for all intents and purposes, impossible.

So, IVF.  Our first cycle failed.  I don’t know what else to say.  We transferred two 5-day embryos and we did not get pregnant.  I shared it only with family and a few close friends.  It was devastating.

Now that we’re embarking on our second, and final IVF cycle, I don’t want to be quiet anymore.  I’m tired of suffering in silence.

Maybe I’ll change my mind along the way, but right now, I’m planning to keep this public. I am writing this all down because whatever the outcome, the journey matters. The coming weeks will change everything irrevocably and these words will become my retrospective road map. In case I lose myself. In case I can’t find my way out or though. In case I need a way back to the beginning.

This is the journey to here.

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