infertility

I am the face of miscarriage

[As featured on Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope] October 15th is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Day. Last October 15th, I was blissfully, naively pregnant — as one should be — taking belly photos with my husband and dreaming about finally being a family of three. After struggling with infertility for over 2 years, […]

On Infertility, and Baby Loss, and Childlessness

In case maybe you were wondering, on August 11, 2016, my husband and I transferred our last beautiful embryo — and then we waited, and hoped, and dreamed, and imagined our life as parents. As much as I wish I could say otherwise, the transfer was not successful. We are not pregnant. We are disappointed, and angry, […]

June 2, 2016

Today was to be my due date. The day I would become a mother. They day we would become a family. I’m so sorry that I will never meet my sweet baby girl, or see her face, or hear her laughter, or teach her about the world an all the beautiful things in it. I’m […]

Twelve Weeks

Today, I would have been 12 weeks pregnant. It’s not lost on me how fitting the weather is — the raindrops are streaming down my window like tears. The air is heavy and quiet and grey. I’m physically at work, but my mind is elsewhere — thinking of all that could have been, and of […]

I’m Still Here

It’s true, I am still here. I’m trying my best to carry on, whatever that means. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  This is the darkest place I’ve ever been.  I still don’t know the way out, if there is one.  I suspect there isn’t, so I’m trying my best to just get through […]

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