for some, life can never be refused.

more courageous, more curious, or more greedy for life, no part of it can they bear to lose. aware of its richness, its variety, they cannot close the eyes, plug the ears, or block the heart. in that moment of anesthesia some vision might flash never to be seen again.

unbolt the door; fling out the windows; spread wide the arms. let it come; let it flow; let it blaze. let it pour through every vein. let it flood the heart, immerse the body and soul. this is the moment.

it will pass — oh, too soon, it will pass.

listen to it; watch it; feel it — it will pass and nothing will ever be the same again.

(anne morrow lindbergh, dearly beloved)

it will be the second family christmas in delaware, and i can’t wait.

the food, the drink, the laughter;

the presents, the pictures, the music;

and, of course, the people. my people. my family.

w.j.b.

my father.

our likeness is so much more than skin deep.

my free spirit, my sense of direction, my proclivity for changing jobs — they are all in your image.

thank you for never underestimating the power of a good laugh and for always believing in me.

i am proud to call you my dad.

b.j.b.

my mother.

and my constant cheerleader, compass, and confidant.

thank you for giving me life and for always loving me without boundaries.

all that i am is because of you, today and always.

b.a.(b.)s.

my sister.

you are my twin, plucked from the same branch; born six years later.

we are irrevocably linked by blood, but held together by a bond so strong, it escapes naming or understanding.

my personal counterbalance, directing me to my true north — to my home, to my family.

thank you for always knowing the words before i speak them.

c.w.s.

my nephew.

you joined the fray just two months ago, but i already love you with all the years of my life.

your sleepy smiles and corn toes and serious glances are absolutely irresistible.

i am so happy to be able to share in your journey.

i love you all.
more than words.

where did you come from, baby dear?
out of the everywhere and into here.
(george macdonald)

once upon a time…

…and they lived happily ever after.

it’s two years later, and i still can’t believe how lucky i was to share sixteen years of my life with the siamese cat i called chloe.

one look into her piercing azure eyes that november day in 1993, and i was hooked. she came home with me that evening and never left. i was enchanted by her stubby tail, her deliciously chocolately seal points, and the gaze i came to realize was laden with wisdom and truth and understanding. she was quiet yet fierce, intensely loyal, and always the embodiment of beauty and grace. she was the best of everything good i’ve ever known.

the years treated us well, save for a few mishaps — most notably the window ledge incident and the porch roof escapade — but we survived the adventures, and she was always there to curl up with me at the end of each day and quietly lull me to sleep with her velvety purr.

it was a good life, filled with pillows and smiles and nicknames and sunbeams. and love, so much love.

it was a life well-lived.

the lymphoma and renal failure eventually slowed her step and tired her body, but there was always a twinkle of fire in her eyes, and when she looked at me that saturday morning in may, i knew. it was time. there was only one thing left for me to do.

and so, on that clear, sunny morning, joined by the people who loved her, i said goodbye to my sweet, sweet girl — my chloe.

today, as yesterday, and as tomorrow,
she is missed as she was loved –

g r e a t l y .

my granddad, jack patrick, was born on this day in 1923.

love is
thicker than
forget

(e.e.cummings)

thirty-eight years ago today, my parents said, “i do”.

i’m so glad they did!  happy anniversary, mom & dad.

– all you need is (love) is all you need –

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) (e.e. cummings)

it was december of 1990 and we went to midnight mass with his family. as he drove me home later that night, we detoured through a few neighborhoods to take in the christmas lights and the holiday decorations.  snow had fallen earlier that day and the world was soft and white and beautiful.

we stopped at a convenience store, and he left me in the car with the heat running as he picked up a pack of cigarettes.  through the window, i saw him talking to a woman in the store and he turned and walked out with her.  i didn’t realize what was happening at first, but as i saw him pulling the jack out of the trunk i realized that she had a flat tire and m.f.g. was going to change it for her.  on christmas eve.  in the snow.

he didn’t give it a second thought.  he asked the woman to wait in the warmth of the store as he replaced her tire in the cold night air.  when he finished, she offered him money, which he refused, and so she gave him a big hug and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to me through the window.  i smiled and waved to her and said, ‘merry christmas.’

she nodded back.  m.f.g. got back into the car, lit a cigarette, and drove me home.  hand in hand, we sung along to the carols on the radio and as the snow started to fall, i fell in love with him and with that night.

there are many selfless acts that go unrecognized in the world.  that one stays with me.  i can’t help but think about it every christmas eve.

it will be the first family christmas in delaware, and i can’t wait.

the food, the drink, the laughter;

the presents, the pictures, the music;

and, of course, the people.  my people.  my family.

w.j.b.

my father.

our likeness is so much more than skin deep.

my free spirit, my sense of direction, my proclivity for changing jobs — they are all in your image.

thank you for never underestimating the power of a good laugh and for always believing in me.

i am proud to call you my dad.

b.j.b.

my mother.

and my constant cheerleader, compass, and confidant.

thank you for giving me life and for always loving me without boundaries.

all that i am is because of you, today and always.

b.a.(b.)s.

my sister.

you are my twin, plucked from the same branch; born six years later.

we are irrevocably linked by blood, but held together by a bond so strong, it escapes naming or understanding.

my personal counterbalance, directing me to my true north — to my home, to my family.

thank you for always knowing the words before i speak them.

i love you all.
more than words.