cats never strike a pose that isn’t photogenic. (lillian jackson braun)

watch with glittering eyes

the whole world around you

because the greatest secrets

are always hidden in

the most unlikely places.

(roald dahl)

and there is. in fact, there are many such somethings.

but here’s the thing — i’m in it right now.

it’s all too near. and i’ve learned that sometimes, the only way out is through.

maybe the words for this will come in weeks, or in months, or maybe not for years.  i don’t know.  what i do know is that the words will come when i am ready.

they always do.

and never a moment sooner.

we have to go. i am almost happy here. (ender wiggin)

summer isn’t a time.  it’s a place as well. (terry pratchett)

better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. (chinese proverb)

the only reason for time is so that everything
doesn’t happen at once. (albert einstein)

the ebb and flow, the give and take, the highs and lows — back and forth, again and again — continuously fighting for stability and order.

it’s a cosmic balancing act of sorts — always contriving, crafting, equilibrating, and then, sometimes, the darkness gets the better of me, and i wonder if maybe that’s not it at all.

maybe it’s all just a random dance and i’m the one fighting to see the patterns in the noise, to hear the music in the static, because, let’s face it, the alternative is harrowing.

sometimes the darkness gets the best of me, but it’s weekends like my last, with their more-than-coincidental convergence of events and people and loves and losses, that make it impossibly difficult to ignore the current running through everything.  a simple truth delicately woven into the passing moments, speaking louder than the noise and the static — one of balance and order.

and that brings me peace.

i’ve saved the final three episodes for today.  it’s an ending i know will be bittersweet.

there’s one scene, in particular, that really struck me this time around.  it’s dark, and profound, and yet, oh, so true — a little gem of wisdom from the fishers.

nathaniel fisher, sr: you hang on to your pain like it means something, like it’s worth something. well let me tell you, it’s not worth shit. let it go. infinite possibilities and all you can do is whine.

david fisher: well, what am i supposed to do?

nathaniel fisher, sr: what do you think? you can do anything, you lucky bastard, you’re alive. what’s a little pain compared to that?

david fisher: it can’t be so simple.

nathaniel fisher, sr: what if it is?

sometimes the questions are complicated

and the answers are simple

(theodor seuss geisel)

[postscript]  yes, i know i’m dreadfully late in posting this (it’s almost august?) — somehow the month of july slipped right through my fingers.