In case maybe you were wondering, on August 11, 2016, my husband and I transferred our last beautiful embryo — and then we waited, and hoped, and dreamed, and imagined our life as parents. As much as I wish I could say otherwise, the transfer was not successful. We are not pregnant. We are disappointed, and angry, […]
Today was to be my due date. The day I would become a mother. They day we would become a family. I’m so sorry that I will never meet my sweet baby girl, or see her face, or hear her laughter, or teach her about the world an all the beautiful things in it. I’m […]
It’s true, I am still here. I’m trying my best to carry on, whatever that means. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. This is the darkest place I’ve ever been. I still don’t know the way out, if there is one. I suspect there isn’t, so I’m trying my best to just get through […]
Ever since the devastating news last Friday, I’ve been terrified of miscarrying naturally. I decided pretty early on, that of the three options presented to me (natural miscarriage, chemically-induced miscarriage, or D&C), I wanted the D&C. I didn’t want to have to wait around for days, weeks, possibly up to a month, for my body […]
Today’s ultrasound showed that our baby had stopped developing about a week ago. There was no heartbeat, no movement, no life. It’s over and all is lost. I don’t know how I will ever be okay again.