Posts Tagged ‘infertility’

On Infertility, and Baby Loss, and Childlessness

In case maybe you were wondering, on August 11, 2016, my husband and I transferred our last beautiful embryo — and then we waited, and hoped, and dreamed, and imagined our life as parents. As much as I wish I could say otherwise, the transfer was not successful. We are not pregnant. We are disappointed, and angry, […]

June 2, 2016

Today was to be my due date. The day I would become a mother. They day we would become a family. I’m so sorry that I will never meet my sweet baby girl, or see her face, or hear her laughter, or teach her about the world an all the beautiful things in it. I’m […]

I’m Still Here

It’s true, I am still here. I’m trying my best to carry on, whatever that means. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  This is the darkest place I’ve ever been.  I still don’t know the way out, if there is one.  I suspect there isn’t, so I’m trying my best to just get through […]

IVF #2: D&C Tomorrow

Ever since the devastating news last Friday, I’ve been terrified of miscarrying naturally. I decided pretty early on, that of the three options presented to me (natural miscarriage, chemically-induced miscarriage, or D&C), I wanted the D&C. I didn’t want to have to wait around for days, weeks, possibly up to a month, for my body […]

IVF #2: All is Lost

Today’s ultrasound showed that our baby had stopped developing about a week ago.  There was no heartbeat, no movement, no life. It’s over and all is lost. I don’t know how I will ever be okay again.

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